tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post2452929916253830493..comments2022-12-12T10:49:47.419-05:00Comments on Patient Modesty & Privacy <center>Concerns</center>: Adolescent Boys and Genital Exams Reducing EmbarrassmentJoel Sherman MDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15302609163683972129noreply@blogger.comBlogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-30159291615375843682019-02-26T23:39:33.803-05:002019-02-26T23:39:33.803-05:00I had a teacher open with this before we got into ...I had a teacher open with this before we got into the nitty gritty in dealing with adolescents and awkwardness: "Mad TV - Dr. Kylie - Growing Pains" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcBOsNPVN08Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-46414678663051723912017-10-20T19:02:33.017-04:002017-10-20T19:02:33.017-04:00AKR
Would you please try to make your point cl...AKR<br /> Would you please try to make your point clearly in one or two sentences? What are you trying to say?<br />Doug Caprahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15722777627862939708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-58072712160754430062017-10-20T09:25:07.299-04:002017-10-20T09:25:07.299-04:00@William Riddell
Modesty wasn't a top concern...@William Riddell<br /><br />Modesty wasn't a top concern for girls and women as well back in the day. Most of them weren't even allowed cover their breast or didn't think any reason to cover back in the day. Also female slaves were auction naked in the middle of the town.<br /><br />Since you suggested bashfulness is social construct for males how about the rampant rape of females back in the day even happening right now in some African countries. Why not we let girls get raped because back in the day it wasn't bigger concern. Maybe it can develop self confidence and courage for the girls to face anything life throws them at in later years.AKRnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-60597749789538167252016-12-17T19:39:07.143-05:002016-12-17T19:39:07.143-05:00Notice two things, Joel. First, Scott hasn't a...Notice two things, Joel. First, Scott hasn't answered my question, which actually is an answer to my question. But not answering confirms my experience that many professionals don't want to talk about this outside of their own professional circle. They are not comfortable with patients being part of this discussion. Secondly, notice in Scott's narratives that the concept of gender choice just dosn't exist. It's not an option. It isn't part of training -- or, if it is, he just doesn't want to discuss it. This is the elephant in the room that I've been writing about for years. And I'm doing everything I can to force those in the room to acknowledge and listen to the elephant.Doug Caprahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15722777627862939708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-70299172727454440292016-12-11T23:51:44.513-05:002016-12-11T23:51:44.513-05:00Boys should be cheked up not arroused as that have...Boys should be cheked up not arroused as that have some erotic charge but under erection and health professionals should in my opinion avoid any arrousement and have the ethic and legal duty of mantein full professional and not sexualysed/erotic conduct but penis function and retraction etc in my (evan if non medical opinion )just can be properly acessed if examinated under erection so as far as that be lawfull health professionals should not just not avoid but evan stimulate erection heapens during exam as far as not in any way make any confusion about sexual examination and sexualized intention. What in my opinion makes it traumatic when hapen is the environment of "damage-control" and "avoidance" surrounding it instead of face it and transmit to the patient the correct idea that it is an organ as any other and a body function as any other so no shame or abuse in it as far as that acessement be far away of any sex explotation or sentimental aproach what ofcourse are unadmissible from a health professional.<br />best regards<br />MaleiteiraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-75845632414350208502016-12-10T07:29:39.665-05:002016-12-10T07:29:39.665-05:00Of course they don't offer a choice and likely...Of course they don't offer a choice and likely never will! It's all on the patient to get the care they need administered in a manner they feel is appropriate and respectful. Medical ethics are selectively applied only when its in the best interest of the system.Ednoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-80734936157821517302016-12-09T14:02:09.468-05:002016-12-09T14:02:09.468-05:00I would add a question: Dl you offer your young p...I would add a question: Dl you offer your young patients, boys and girls, the opportunity to choose the gender of the examiner? If not, why not?Doug Caprahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15722777627862939708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-12775711689034019482016-12-08T19:59:45.203-05:002016-12-08T19:59:45.203-05:00Thanks for your comment Scott. Do you instruct me...Thanks for your comment Scott. Do you instruct med students, APRN's, PA's or other? Such instruction was generally rare years ago. I do not know how common it is today.Joel Sherman MDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15302609163683972129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-73812956035176357072016-12-05T11:13:03.066-05:002016-12-05T11:13:03.066-05:00As the Executive Director of a clinical training o...As the Executive Director of a clinical training organization that specializes in teaching both the male and female intimate exams to medical, nursing and physician assistant students, I can tell you that we do teach our students how to prevent causing male arousal during the genital exam, and how to respond to it if it does occur. When a patient, at any age, is identified as inexperienced with the intimate exams, we teach our students to take the extra time needed to introduce the exam and to relax the patient, by reassuring them that the exam will not take as long as they might expect, and should not be painful. I do not believe that it is necessary or wise to forewarn the patient that they might become aroused. During our exam instruction we teach techniques which are comprehensive, yet minimize any unnecessary manipulation of the sensitive genital area. We will inform our students in addition to moving swiftly through the exam, the other essential method to employ to avoid causing patient arousal is palpating with firm pressure throughout the exam, with the exception of the testes. Besides being ineffective for identifying pathology, light pressure when palpating this area causes arousal. This is an especially important message for our female medical and nursing students to realize, since they generally have a misconception that the male genitalia are far more delicate than they are. We insist on firm palpation during our instruction, with the palpation of the tests being the only exception. The third recommendation that we share with students is to avoid performing the exam in silence. Take a health history, conduct patient education, discuss the weather or sports, but do not allow the male patient to think about what's going on by performing the exam in silence. And finally, we discuss with our students how to respond to the patient who does become aroused during the exam. We describe this situation as "damage control", since we do not want the unintended arousal to traumatize the patient. The situation should be handled as matter-of-factly as possible. The clinician should not appear shocked, angry, or embarrassed. And, if the clinician chooses to ignore it, the patient will assume one, or all of these reactions. Instead, the clinician should calmly address the condition as if it is not an uncommon patient response, blame it on the temperature in the room, and offer the patient to take a quick break.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14161302125706759243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-27149085873071426912016-12-02T19:50:06.463-05:002016-12-02T19:50:06.463-05:00Response to William Liddell... That may be why the...Response to William Liddell... That may be why there was such an epidemic of "touching" that has only come to light in recent years. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-5743432049958363482016-10-13T21:56:37.549-04:002016-10-13T21:56:37.549-04:00Boys shouldn't be coaxed in their bashfulness....Boys shouldn't be coaxed in their bashfulness. This was NEVER a practice for males until recent years where paranoia of child nudity became prevalent. Boys & Girls are different (with diverse needs). Boys should be counseled into building 'self confidence' & over coming these irrational fears in a 'safe setting' such as a doctors office. <br /><br />It NEVER HURT the boys who stormed the beaches of Normandy & their was a double standard on male nudity until years after WWII. This present generation is turning out boys too bashful to even shower in school showers or gyms where gang showers are in Men's rooms. They'd rather stink & spread germs than shower in a setting where their willy might be seen be another boy. THIS COAXING OF BOYS (as the article seems to side with) is not helping boys build the self confidence they need. When they enter the military, gang showers are compulsory Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00372482262753316641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-63667932480171113512016-07-24T11:05:08.816-04:002016-07-24T11:05:08.816-04:00- 1sth of all i like to state that I don't adv...- 1sth of all i like to state that I don't advise anything against the law and I’m completely against any form of sexual relation between adults and child as well I’m against any form of sexual exploitation. <br />- 2nd I’m not doctor in medicine so this is just an opinion and not a health care advise. Being this clear:<br />- I think full physical examination should be provided as well by health professionals by health reasons!<br />- I think school, sports, army etc physicals should be collective (gender segregation obviously)and should include Full Examination. <br />- I think it's very wrong stimulate exacerbated individualistic characters and protect shynesses specially between boys males (considering the natural differences -not difference in rights- between gender i can understand more reserve to girls -but equal need of examination). By the oposit accept be between the others as each one are without "masks" and force overcame shynesses are very important including for self image and acceptance as well as for team building and see each one as equal.<br />- Respect for privacy and modesty is not expose publicaly and explote socially the nudity for commercial or other porpouses; not cultivate shynesses and fake shames of body, between team mates, doctor, parents etc.<br />- I believe what traumatize is the social transmission of a fake image that are some parts of body, or body functions, that are shameful and that get examined or privately exposed are a bad and an abusive thing instead of educate to have a natural approach reserving that modesty to the social context.<br />- About the genital examination i not just think it should obviously be done com pleat examination but more than that in what concerns boys i think erections not just shouldn’t be avoid as well i think they should be stimulated to happen during the examination as just that way proper function and development can be evaluated (and in case of not circed phimosis/retraction properly checked).<br />- What i believe is wrong and can leave bad psi col marks is transmit the idea of that are a bad thing or a thing at least they not need of feel embarrassed as can peahen instead of transmit the good feeling that that are part of the natural development and proud of turn in grownups<br />Having said this i need make clear all health professionals involved natural need sustain a perfectly professional position without use that to any abusive porpouses or unappropriated relation maintaining it strictly on the physical examination context without any of personal involvement; nevertheless i can bee sensitive to according provider gender option by cultural, social, personal and or religious modesty respect.<br />To all, and parents in particular, my message is instead of protect your boys from every positive thing that could be difficult to them in life to overcame learn to force them or allow they be forced to step over it and instead of imprint psychological trauma about that effort they are subjected learn congratulate them by step over and imprint proud without vanish - real modesty! And save the efforts to protect or even better teach them protect to what are real threats!<br />Best regard's <br />MaleiteiraMaleiteirahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11553431277570414344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-6672103649540691322015-03-11T16:36:10.497-04:002015-03-11T16:36:10.497-04:00Recently I have been doing some intense research t...Recently I have been doing some intense research that has yielded a trove of papers (which I reference on Dr. Bernstein's blog) that supports my position on patient dignity. <br /><br /><i>I think dignity is a better term because it is a right granted to us by the nature of being human and ascribed to God. It can not be given to us or rationed, it is always there and must always be respected. Modesty is what we are granted from healthcare, and when we ask more than is granted us, we are labelled irrational and unreasonable. Modesty is a party of dignity. Dignity is respect for the whole person. Modesty is respect for the body. </i><br /><br />In the course of my research I found the following on the American Academy of Family Physicians' web site (<i><a href="http://www.aafp.org/afp/2011/0315/p683.html#afp20110315p683-b12" rel="nofollow">Health Maintenance in School-aged Children: Part I. History, Physical Examination, Screening, and Immunizations</a></i>):<br /><br /><br /><i><b>Physical Examination</b><br />A full physical examination should be performed during any health maintenance visit, and is required in a well-child examination for insurance billing. However, one study has shown that physical examination in an asymptomatic, school-aged child will find a new abnormality in less than 4 percent of patients, and most of these abnormalities are not clinically significant.5 Few specific examination elements have been validated as having a positive or negative health effect. Because more than 1 million abused children are identified annually in the United States, physicians should remain alert for signs of abuse.<br /><b>Screening Tests</b><br />Screening recommendations for school-aged children from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) are listed in Table 1.3. <b>The USPSTF recommends against scoliosis screening and testicular examination in asymptomatic patients because these tests have been found to be more harmful than beneficial in these patients.</b></i><br /><br /><br />Here is the footnote for that reference: U.S. Preventive Services Task Force. Screening for testicular cancer. February 2004. <a href="http://www.uspreventiveservicestaskforce.org/uspstf/uspstest.htm" rel="nofollow">Vhttp://www.uspreventiveservicestaskforce.org/uspstf/uspstest.htm</a><br /><br />This validates what you have been saying all along. I was not sure if you were aware of this, but I felt that I should point it out to you.<br /><br />I repeat: <b>The USPSTF recommends against scoliosis screening and testicular examination in asymptomatic patients because these tests have been found to be more harmful than beneficial in these patients.</b><br /><br />This also validates the mental trauma that some patients experience as well.<br /><br />--Banterings<br /><br />A. Banteringshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05026455474056909739noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-61577437002773431302015-01-31T02:43:08.007-05:002015-01-31T02:43:08.007-05:00I agree. Why are men viewed as less just because t...I agree. Why are men viewed as less just because they don't want to be on display and handled by some cold calus person whom we would never allow to inspect us outside the exam room? Men are called names yet if a women says no to a pelvic exam only foolish doctors question her about it but men are told shut up ans deal with it. I was told its for your own good when I was reluctant to expose myself to a rude impatient doctor. Really ? if you examining me causes me grief then who's good is it really for?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-53002254570547274402015-01-31T01:50:21.377-05:002015-01-31T01:50:21.377-05:00My general question is this. If its an issue of ho...My general question is this. If its an issue of how much we guys can handle being told or weather or not we schedule the appointment someone should at least tell us we have the right to refuse the exam. No one told me until I found this and similer websites. On the same sort of issue no one tells young women they also have the right to refuse the equivalent exam. Every one is trained to believe these exams are mandatory when they are not. I am a 22 year old man and I still dislike having someone I barely know examine very personal areas. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-17457622229536165302014-11-29T20:38:42.078-05:002014-11-29T20:38:42.078-05:00From the first time I've had a physical, i'...From the first time I've had a physical, i've always developed an erection. I'm not excited, just very nervous. As a female PA was the only medical professional available in my town for quite some time, I was always super embarrassed to have sports physicals done. She once told me to calm down. This comment was highly detrimental to my well-being, as I nearly died of embarrassment. Later on in life, I had some medical issues that I let go on for quite some time until they started to interfere with my life because I am so mortified about getting an erection in front of a doctor, whether female or male. I still suffer from this anxiety, and it's a really difficult thing to get undressed for medical reasons. From my point of view, the best thing a doctor can do is to explain what's going to happen. That would relieve so much stress on a young adolescent boy during the exam. This has never been done fully for me, but a urologist explained that he would be doing the same routine that was always done. This at least reassured me that I was not in an unknown environment, until the surprise prostate exam. <br /><br />I think things should be explained to the patient, very directly. As a teenage boy, it would have been nice to have known what was going to be done to my body, as most of the time it was a surprise. The fact that a female was examining me added to the stress, but it would have been fine if the above things were done before the exams.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-62815346786598623402014-11-25T00:08:06.494-05:002014-11-25T00:08:06.494-05:00I have had to have multiple prostate or bladder ne...I have had to have multiple prostate or bladder neck operations and have each time asked for a MALE nurse to do the prep work. On one occasion when I had been assured by the hospital that my request would be honored a female nurse showed up. I told her my preference for a male and she informed me that SHE was who I had. I felt powerless..MEN WERE available--she just didn't want to bother getting one. It has been 5 years ago and I still feel I was VIOLATED against my will. I can't imagine a young boy or teenager having the same thing. I was 59 and it was difficult for me to deal with....I ended up seeing a female PA when I had treatment for Peyronies disease. She detailed EVERYTHING that would happen to me including having a mechanically induced erection with a vacuum device. As mortified as I was at first, I became more comfortable with her than ANYONE... and part of it was her age-- approximately mine. I think the younger the person doing the procedure, the more nervous a patient might be. She helped me greatly and was one of the most professional medical folks I have ever encountered. At the same clinic there was a female nurse who ONCE was to perform a procedure on me. She was so rude and insulting about it (I asked to be as modestly draped as possible) that I refused to ever have her be part of my treatment. Men and I presume teens or young boys definitely can have embarrassment issues and the same consideration for gender of caregiver should be given as to female patients. I presume a male would NEVER do a genital exam on a female patient without a female nurse present-- NEVER was another person present in the room when females did things on me so yes, there is a double standard in regard to that. My urologist office has only female nurses.....I cant imagine a gyno office tht had only MALE nurses--women would not stand for it. George Terrell Jr.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-86087931950173437492014-09-01T10:53:13.495-04:002014-09-01T10:53:13.495-04:00Hi Joel - I just wanted to make one final observat...Hi Joel - I just wanted to make one final observation on this thread, before I leave it for good. A number of contributors including yourself have suggested a link between this type of examination (particularly of boys) and the risk of subsequently developing a sexual fetish. I am in complete agreement that this is a potential risk and along with the other brave contributor, confess this happened to me also. I am also living proof that this does happen. It has ruled and almost destroyed my life. You are correct to surmise that embarrassment (and humiliation) is a critical ingredient in the development of such a psychosis (in my case anyway). I would also add into the mix "control" (or loss of..). Of course I can't help wonder if I would have had such inclinations without the medical experiences, but I will never know, and chose to believe surgery on my genitals over a 13 year period, throughout my childhood and adolescents must have something to do with it. This is the first time I have ever read of a suggested link. And it's the first time I have admitted I am afflicted by it. Even in an anonymous post admitting this makes me shake physically. I am so grateful to you for voicing something I have never been brave enough to talk about. If you know of any self help resources that might help me confront this type of issue I'd be grateful. You've given me some hope, and opened my eyes to the possibility that perhaps I am not completely weird to have reacted in the way I have. ThanksAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-78509648971392077832014-08-15T06:13:34.196-04:002014-08-15T06:13:34.196-04:00Hi Joel - In an attempt to answer to your question...Hi Joel - In an attempt to answer to your questions. My son also had hypospadias (which reveals that yes despite being very mixed up psychosexually I did meet someone and even had children – no one more surprised by this than me!). His treatment worked a dream in that the two stage operation was carried out when he was less than two years old, and it worked straight off - no complications and he has no memory of it. It's hard to compare his experience with mine. In my case the attempt at an early intervention, to minimise psychological trauma failed because the surgery repeatedly failed. I wonder if it would have been better to have stopped the surgery and given me the choice to continue with it later in life. Looking at what medical notes I have I get the impression this was never considered by surgeons or my adoptive parents, whose focus was very much on the physical. Of course having to sit down to pee would have also caused some issues for a child, but in reality that is what I did anyway and still do most of the time. I would hope that these days trying to preserve dignity by avoiding unnecessary total nudity is common practice. I was often stripped naked when only my genitals needed to be examined. Ward rounds were horrible, I would lay on the bed, uncovered, naked from the waist down and just have to wait for what seemed like hours for the consultant to arrive. To me it seemed like crowds of doctors, nurses and junior medics would gather around the bed and exam my genitals. I don't know if this still happens and I appreciate junior medics need to learn, but it made me feel like a freak show. Psychological counselling is a must in my opinion. As I said nobody ever talked to me as I became a teenager about how I felt. I wish I had someone to open up to about the embarrassing hospital moments, perhaps then they could have been lessened. But also to counter the very serious and damaging view I formed of my genitals. I believed they were horribly scarred and ugly, bent when erect (cordee) and laughably small, and would cause any girl to run out of the bedroom screaming. I believed right into my 30s (until my partner unexpectedly became pregnant) that because I dribbled rather than ejaculated I wouldn't be able to have children without some 'help'. I was deeply upset when I discovered this about my physiology as a teenager. Prior to the last two operations I had at age 15 and 16 (urethroplasty, repeated because of hair growth after the first attempt) I had no warning my penis would be effectively cut in half. I was shocked and I believe traumatised when I saw what had been done. The 6 months at home with my penis in that state, at that age were really disturbing. I still had erections, and the whole thing looked hideous. It disgusted me. I know a child can’t be in control in such hospital situations, but they should have some say in how they are treated, and increasingly be consulted and informed as they get older. When it comes to a examining a child’s genitals, I think every attempt to preserve dignity should be made, from the earliest age. I suspect that in the 1960s and 1970s such matters in UK hospitals (where I live) were not considered. Yes I had erections when I was examined, even when I was photographed (completely naked, in a room on my own with a medical photographer would you believe..). Once old enough to be sexually aware I was mortified by it, and always assumed it was a sexual reaction, under my control and hence shaming. I was never told it wasn’t sexual, or that it was a normal healthy reaction and I never became comfortable about it no matter how many times it happened. Nurses and doctors tended to ignore it, which is fair enough at the time, but nobody ever talked to me about it. I’m still embarrassed by it now, with my partner, how weird is that! I just hope things are different these days, but it seems to me the UK is well behind the U.S in recognising the issue.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-88899042829601212122014-08-14T11:00:00.202-04:002014-08-14T11:00:00.202-04:00Thanks for your comments anon. I don't see ho...Thanks for your comments anon. I don't see how the treatment of hypospadias (a congenital malformation of the genitals) could be made completely atraumatic, but you would think that even 20-30 years ago this would have been evident and any treatment would automatically involve ongoing counseling and support especially as adolescence was entered. I don't know if it is any better today. Probably varies from institution to institution.<br />What suggestions can you make concerning how your therapy should have been handled?Joel Sherman MDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15302609163683972129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-17776331369400871832014-08-14T09:26:59.713-04:002014-08-14T09:26:59.713-04:00I'm glad to have found this article, even thou...I'm glad to have found this article, even though its long after it was written. For me this is a huge issue. I was born with hypospadias, and endured 30+ surgical procedures over 13 years on my penis, from age 3 to 16. Once I was old enough to be aware and embarrassed of being 'exposed' in a huge variety of ways (examinations by teams of doctors, wounds being cleaned and bathed, urinating in front of medics, photographed naked etc.) the experiences became increasingly stressful and psychologically harmful. Two experiences come to mind in particular. Around age 13, the nurse cleaned the site of the operation (my penis) and then informed me she had to spray my penis with a can of freezing cold aerosol (normally used for muscle strain injuries) to prevent me from having an erection. I felt so ashamed and humiliated as I lay there, virtually naked and allowed her to do this. In addition to the shame, she continued to spray my penis for about 30 seconds, until I screamed in pain. She had no idea what she was doing. I hated the loss of control of my own body. Second experience. Following major surgery on my penis, the surgeon had used three loops of suture wrapped around the shaft to hold a dressing in place. During the night my penis began to swell up. I don't think I had an erection, but feared that might be the case. As it swelled the sutures cut into the skin. By the morning the sutures had cut so far in they couldn't be seen. I was in a lot of pain, but so ashamed that I might have caused it by having an erection I didn't tell a nurse until hours later. The ward sister was horrified when she saw what had happened and removed the sutures herself, which hurt a lot too. These are just two of many shaming experiences I experienced. I never received any psychological support to help address the shame I felt, or on going body image issues. At the end of the 13 years, age 17 I was deemed fit and told to get on with my life. Unfortunately by then I had developed some pretty weird strategies to cope with the experiences, and distorted emotions about my genitals and sexuality. As a youth and young man I had no girl friends or sexual experiences. It wasn't until I was in my 30s I allowed anyone to come close sexually, and even then spent an hour telling her how disgusting my penis looked and how poor a lover I would be. Some years later my weird coping strategies which were now habitual got me into trouble with the authorities. It was a very minor thing but I was so ashamed to be forced to admit my problems to uncaring police and social workers I attempted suicide. Since then I have managed to get some therapy, but as I have to self fund it was very short. So although I can talk about it a bit now, psychologically I am still affected and it haunts me. Sorry for the long post. There are just no places where this type of experience can be discussed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-43220774348430911652014-07-13T05:02:21.902-04:002014-07-13T05:02:21.902-04:00"Likely this difference is a reflection of th..."Likely this difference is a reflection of the varying importance Western society has put on modesty for women vs. men."<br /><br />Maybe part of the problem, at least, lies in the use of the word "modesty" in regard to both sexes. Does not the very word have a feminine ring to it? One of the definitions of "modesty" is "The quality or state of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of ones abilities." Some of the synonyms given are "self-effacement; humility." Are these qualities widely seen as desirable male traits in our society? Does a man who embodies these qualities get to be a general, CEO, or star athlete? As a man, I personally find these qualities to be admirable, but only when balanced with a whole lot of self-confidence and pride. What is truly admirable is to be whatever a given situation calls for. To describe a man merely as "modest" is to rob him of at least half of his manhood. Yes, I know medical modesty is not quite the same thing, but even here, the definition fails many men: "behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency." This makes us sound like shrinking violets and prudes. Personally, I LOVE "indecency." I positively revel in it, AS LONG AS I CONSENT. When a female nurse or doctor, who is fully clothed, thinks I should allow her to see, touch, and do all sorts of extremely intimate things to my naked male body, I feel that my male pride and dignity are violated. I will not allow a woman such power over me, unless I damn well want to. Just because she has a degree that says she gets to see me naked, that doesn't mean I have to let her. I feel anger, not modesty. What I feel is best defined as "behavior, manner, or appearance designed to avoid loss of dignity, pride, and power." As someone who, through the negligence and incompetence of doctors, has fallen into a never-ending nightmare of hospitals and nursing homes, I have had ENOUGH. I have become a really angry, in-your-face, tough S.O.B. on this issue. I've gotten all sorts of grief about it, from men and women, but I'm fighting back on that, too. Lately, I've been throwing the phrase "gender discrimination" right in their faces. The more they insist I must submit to this routine humiliation, the more recalcitrant I become. My hospital and the various nursing homes I've been in all hate me. I could say much, much more about my experiences, but I'm getting too bogged down in specifics, when I meant to make a general statement. Suffice to say that I don't see myself as "modest" at all. I believe this issue is so deeply seen as pertaining to only women, that the very language used to describe it is feminine. That, in turn, is a big reason for the ridicule that men endure, as well as the reluctance of many men to speak up. Call it "male patient pride," "male patient ego," or "male patient arrogance," even. Any of those is preferable to "male patient modesty." Whatever you call it, the current situation must change.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-77267853479775584892014-03-03T12:11:44.069-05:002014-03-03T12:11:44.069-05:00As a patient who has been on the receiving end of ...As a patient who has been on the receiving end of healthcare administered by female nurses, who apparently feel our healthcare is a spectator sport, I would argue that it's female nurses who lack respect for the dignity and privacy rights of their male patients.<br /><br />EdAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-44282530767720548982014-02-20T23:38:07.722-05:002014-02-20T23:38:07.722-05:00I certainly appreciate the need for increased awar...I certainly appreciate the need for increased awareness and privacy for our male patients.<br />That being said, shame on each of you who have suggested nurses take pleasure in provoking an erection in a young male patient! These comments are classic examples of physicians who lack respect for nursing professionals. While there are certainly some nurses out there who are unprofessional or even criminal, I challenge you to open your mind to the reality there exists the same criminality within the medical field. It is, however, not the norm within either profession as your comments suggest is true within nursing. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2752793986869193186.post-22704456301365406282013-07-30T13:55:19.609-04:002013-07-30T13:55:19.609-04:00I want to "second" what Glenn said. In ...I want to "second" what Glenn said. In my younger years, the family doctor would just pull down a kid's pants and underwear, check whatever they needed to check, and nobody had time to be embarrassed, although I/we was/were. <br /><br />Another peeve of mine, is siblings getting their exams together, especially during adolescence. I think everyone deserves their privacy and dignity, especially during physical exams. The genital exam is there to check for any problems, or developmental issues, and on that basis, I take no issue with it. But to use such an exam to humiliate a patient, is intolerable. Here's why:<br /><br />One of the kids in my extended family told me of his age-14 physical and how the doc pulled his underwear all the way down in front of his younger sister and mother, both of whom were snickering about it and making fun of him. However, which it came time for the younger sister's turn to get her genital exam, he was rushed out of the room. Talk about double standards. What's up with that ???Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com